I’m the life of the party – even if it lasts until 8 pm.

 

I’m very good at opening childproof caps – with a hammer.

 

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

 

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

 

I’m very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over…………..

 

I’m not really grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can’t seem to remember right now.

 

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

 

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?  

 

And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

 

I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

 

I’m a walking storeroom of facts – I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.

 

Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life.